Well, here I am at a new domain with a new unicorn-mug inspired look, and I’m trying to think of a way to fill all the holes in your entertainment orifices - a way that will leave you exhausted, yet begging for more. As I sucked and fondled the idea with my brain, it came to me! I have to go with a perennial favorite of mine, and of the eight people that used to read my site. What does this mean, zero readers? It means that… sneaking up like a ninja-riffic Japanese train groper, touching you where you secretly want to be touched - comes a fresh installment of my public service column, Ask The Experts! (read more…)

Push aside that heaping basket of Freedom Fries, and listen to what I have to say, fellow Americans. First of all, cut down on the Freedom Fries, your ass looks like you have a garbage bag filled with pebbles stuffed in the back of your jeans. In addition to that, eating all that greasy food will make you shit something out later that looks like a wet monkey. At any rate, what I have to say is this: girls don’t fart. As soon as I hear they do, then it means the terrorists have won. (read more…)