So, the impossible happened last weekend. What is the impossible, you say? I don’t really know. I mean, don’t get me wrong - I can name puh-lun-teee of impossible things… a Wal-Mart with no mullets, a Dave Matthews Band album with good songs, you finally being able to blow yourself, this thing… the list goes on and on. Beyond the obvious impossible shit out there, Chase got married. To a girl. That loves him. I also went to a church, like with bibles and crosses and everything, and I didn’t spontaneously combust as I crossed the threshold. That’s pretty amazing, if you ask me.
Despite my surroundings - a nice little church in Okemos - I did catch myself saying the word fuck aloud no less than 6 times. I also burst out laughing (in a subdued kinda way) during the ceremony when this hymn was accidentally flipped to:
He’s All About The Quick In And Out
I had to insist that The Shrew take a photo of it. I’m the hand model there, and I think I may have a rich future in hand modeling - I even bought lotion! Now if only I could find an easy way to apply it to my left hand… hmm…
In all seriousness, the wedding was lovely, and I had a great time hanging out with some great friends and participating in the Great American Wedding Tradition™ of getting blind stinking drunk at the reception, stealing a spoon from the Kellogg Center (it was super shiny!), calling a cab to get home, and accidentally breaking the stairway handrail in my apartment complex when I got there. Dan smash. Fuck yes. I’m extremely happy for Chase, and I wish him and his lovely bride Marissa nothing but the best of luck in their future together. Thanks for having me there on your special day. I hope you two still get to have sex now that it’s a done deal. I like my spoon.
